DEALING WITH SENTIMENTAL CLUTTER
Brought to you by Joan Kosmachuk,
Professional Organizer
and Personal Life Coach
“Things are to be used, People are to be loved.”
—Source Unknown
Most sentimental objects are kept because they stir up memories of a special time, person or event in our lives. We feel a certain attachment to an item even if it has no actual monetary value. If an item is rare and valuable in addition to being sentimental, we may feel even more strongly that we are to be the “keeper” of this family treasure to pass on to the next generation.
But for many sentimental personality types, the number of items to which they’ve grown attached or feel obligated to keep far exceeds the space they have to keep them. So, the first step in organizing sentimental items is to step back and depersonalize them.
It is important to note that your grandmother’s sewing table is not your grandmother. Your wedding dress is not your wedding day or your marriage. Your trophies are not the goal itself but rather a representation of a goal you achieved. After you separate an item from the person or event associated with it, ask yourself if the item has any real monetary or useful value? If you found this item at a garage sale, for example, would you feel drawn to purchase it?
Once you’ve acknowledge the objective “value” of each sentimental object, then you can consider what it means to you. Does it trigger a special memory? Does it bring you joy or sadness when you see it? Are you keeping it because you love and cherish it or because you’d feel guilty if you gave it away? Are you keeping it out of a misplaced belief that everyone keeps such things? Are you holding on to it for your children or for potential grandchildren? Is this truly an item that will have value for them or will it be a burden for them to have to dispose of after you are gone? Is this an item you loved once upon a time but really don’t love any more?
Once you’ve acknowledged both the objective and subjective value of each object you’ll be ready to decide what you want to do with it. Here are my four recommendations:
1. USE IT:
If you inherited your grandmother’s china use it for its intended purpose rather than storing it away. Yes, you make break or chip a dish or two, but it will bring you pleasure each time you use it and will create memories for your own children and grandchildren so that you’ll be passing on far more than an antique set of dishes. The same applies to linens, toys, books, vases and other useful objects. Eventually they may wear out, but the memories they came with and the new memories they create will always be with you.
2. DISPLAY IT:
So often I find that people’s “sentimental, can’t part with ever” items are stuck in the back of a closet, boxed up in the attic or basement, stuffed under the bed, or hidden in plain view beneath a layer of dust and surrounded by other less sentimental clutter.
If you truly treasure an object and you can’t find a regular use for it, you should at least give it a place of honor in your home. Shadow box frames, glass curio cabinets, glass domed display boxes or showcase tables are just a few of the ways you can protect and display delicate items throughout your home. Special cards and letters can be kept in a scrapbook or decorative box where you’ll be reminded to review them regularly. Consider a ticket stub journal for all those special events you want to remember. Have you kept all your daughter’s dresses only to be blessed with grandsons? Do you wonder what to do with your son’s team shirts? There are many skilled quilters who will convert sentimental clothing into special memory quilts that can then be hung on the wall or displayed on a bed. Look for creative ways to showcase your sentimental objects so that you can enjoy your memories and share that joy with others.
3. SHARE IT:
Whether it was an object you inherited or something you realize you no longer need to keep, don’t be afraid to share your sentimental items with others.
Is there a family member who has a better space to display your grandfather’s steamer trunk than you do? Could you repurpose that bridesmaid’s dress into a Christening gown for the baby of a single mom? Is there someone else who could appreciate and make use of your father’s woodworking books? Would your Barbie collection brighten the life of a foster child?
If you are saving special items for your children or grandchildren, make sure they are stored safely in a way that will preserve these items for the future. And when the time comes, if they are not desired or treasured by the intended recipients, pass them on to someone else who would love to have them.
Don’t be afraid to share your once-sentimental items so they can become someone else’s treasured possession.
4. TRASH IT:
A friend recently shared that she had made the heart wrenching decision to throw out the quilt her grandmother had made for her. This quilt had graced her bed for years but over time became stained, torn, faded and threadbare until it no longer represented her grandmother’s beautiful handiwork. She realized that she had cherished and used that quilt in the way she had been meant to and that it was time to let it go.
Acknowledging that a sentimental object is beyond saving is difficult. It may be children’s artwork that has yellowed and curled, moth-eaten linens, or cracked china, but if it is no longer a true representation of what it was it is time to trash it. Don’t burden others with the chore of having to deal with your sentimental trash.
You may want to write a journal entry to remember the object or share the object's meaning with a friend or family member before you say good-bye, but when it’s time to let it go, just let it go.
Remember, people survive losing many things to fires, floods, theft and loss and yet they do not forget the moments, the people, and the events those items once represented. You can trust your own memory to remember long after the old objects are gone. If you can use it or display it and it brings you joy, keep it. If you plan to save it to pass down to the next generation, store it safely. If you no longer treasure it, share it or trash it.
If you need help getting organized, consider getting professional input by hiring a professional organizer. To hire the services of Joan Kosmachuk, please email your request to info@simpleeffects.com or call 617-784-0707.
If you found the information in this newsletter to be of value to you, please feel free to forward it to your friends and colleagues; you'll be helping them stay organized too.
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